Stop Trying to Win the Career Game. You’re Playing the Wrong One.
If you have ever felt successful on paper and quietly dissatisfied in real life, this is not a personal failing. It is a systems problem.
Most careers are designed like board games you never agreed to play. The rules were written decades ago, optimized for stability, hierarchy, and predictability. Then we dropped modern humans into them. Curious humans. Meaning-seeking humans. Humans whose brains evolved to adapt, explore, and grow, not to repeat the same move for thirty years and call it loyalty.
When people feel stuck at work, they usually assume one of two things.
Either they need to try harder.
Or they need to leave.
Both responses miss the point.
The real problem is misoptimization
In behavioral psychology, we talk a lot about optimization. Every system optimizes for something. The problem is that people often optimize for the wrong variable.
Most professionals are unconsciously optimizing for external signals:
approval
stability
status
compensation
being seen as “on track”
Those are not bad things. They are just incomplete metrics.
If you optimize only for external rewards long enough, you eventually feel hollow. Not because you are ungrateful, but because the human brain is not wired to run exclusively on extrinsic reinforcement. We habituate. Fast.
This is why promotions lose their glow. Why salary bumps feel oddly flat. Why the job you once chased now feels strangely heavy.
Your nervous system is telling you something important. You are playing a game that no longer pays in the currency you need.
Careers are ecosystems, not ladders
The ladder metaphor is one of the most damaging ideas in modern work. Ladders assume:
one direction
one definition of progress
one correct pace
one view from the top
Real careers behave more like ecosystems.
In ecosystems, health matters more than height. Diversity matters more than linear growth. Feedback loops determine sustainability.
You can climb very high in a system that slowly depletes you. You can also move laterally, diagonally, or even down temporarily and end up far more fulfilled and effective over time.
When people say they feel “off,” what they often mean is this:
The ecosystem no longer supports who I am becoming.
The Watershed Insight
Here is the punchline. Write it down.
Fulfillment is not a feeling you chase. It is a signal that you are well matched to your environment.
When fulfillment drops, it is not a moral judgment. It is information.
Just like hunger tells you something about fuel, dissatisfaction tells you something about fit.
The mistake is responding to that signal with self criticism instead of curiosity.
A simple diagnostic
Instead of asking “What should I do next?” try this:
What am I currently optimizing for?
What does this system reward?
What parts of me are being reinforced here?
What parts of me are being slowly ignored?
You do not need to burn your career down to answer these questions. You just need to observe honestly.
Change becomes much less dramatic when you understand what actually needs to change.
The counterintuitive truth
People who build satisfying careers are not more decisive, confident, or fearless.
They are better observers of systems.
They notice when the game has changed.
They notice when their internal incentives no longer match the external rewards.
They stop trying to win at a game that costs them too much to play.
And then they design a better one.
Not overnight. Not recklessly. But intentionally.
That is the work.
If this resonated
If this felt uncomfortably accurate, you are likely at a watershed moment. That does not mean something is wrong. It means you are paying attention.
The next step is not action. It is clarity.
And clarity, done well, changes everything.
